I saw the Watchmen movie. As a fan movie of Alan Moore's classic, it was great. I even liked the re-write at the end. But that is neither here nor there, because for the most part, all I ever hear about when someone mentions this movie, is Dr. Manhattan's weiner.
Strangely enough, the people who comment most on his weiner are heterosexual men. You'd think if it disturbed them so much, they'd block it out, but no. They count appearances of the giant blue weiner. They time how long each appearance of the giant blue weiner lasts. They even know which scenes include a wiggly blue penis.
Really? it wiggles? Was that a CGI team? Somewhere, are there a bunch of CGI artist that have to put 'Animation crew for Dr. Manhattan's wiggly blue weiner?'
What kind of discussions did the crew have?
Crew Member 1: I think his penis should point down and to the right.
Crew Member 2: I think it should point up.
Crew Member 3: You're BOTH IDIOTS! SHEER IDIOTS! The penis must hang perfectly downwards, Dr. Manhattan wouldn't have a kinked penis!
But I digress. My point was, the blue weiner has taken over the entire film! In fact, when I went to see it, I learned afterwards that my friend's husband requested that she count appearances of the giant blue weiner. There's a couple conversation - not how was the movie? Just, 'so how many times did his weiner show up?'
I wish I had never heard about how annoying Dr. Manhattan's weiner was, because when I watched the film I kept noticing it. For example, in the early part of the movie, Dr. Manhattan shows normal endowment. By the end of the movie, it looks as though he's hung like a horse.
I kept thinking why can't they just put him in superhero underpants? would it kill them to cover it up? I would never have to hear about it again.
Except that's not true. The new conversation would be whether or not Dr. Manhattan stuffs his outfit.
The worst part of all the weiner whining? a male friend who has never seen the movie refuses to read the comic book. His reason? 'I don't want to read about a giant blue penis!' The amount of horror in his voice as he said it gave the impression he thought it was going to be a pop up book.
Now there's an interesting emergency room story.
I truly dislike the giant blue weanus discussion. My beloved graphic novel, The Watchmen, an ingenious, gritty storyline that delves into the darker side of what it means to be human, has been reduced to nothing but a big blue weenie.
So what do my malcontents think? Watchmen - great movie, or should they retitle it the Giant Blue Weenie?
